my beautiful friend who had two toes amputated…
Two weeks ago The Sound had it’s first ‘Junk in the Trunk’ session. This is a forum for believers and non-believers to deal with issues they are experiencing or have experienced. The topic for the session was Self Esteem.
As I was preparing, God showed me how to set it up, what food to have and who to invite. However when the day came, I felt extremely unprepared. I felt as if I hadn’t studied enough and I still couldn’t ‘see’ how things were going to flow. This is a growth area for me, because I love to have ALL the details, and we know God never gives ALL the details 😉
Anyway, as we began, even though I felt uncomfortable and unprepared, things felt right because I had done everything God said to do. So we started, did a few ice breaker exercises, and then got right into Self Esteem.
Can I say that it took off? People started sharing about what self esteem meant to them. We each were dealing with issues that impacted how we viewed ourselves. There were issues of weight gain, weight loss, impacts of surgeries, abuse and neglect as children, racism, etc. As I sat back and watched the session take a life of it’s own, I realized that there was nothing that I could have studied for this. I just needed to get out of God’s way.
So many things blessed me, and this was one of them. Someone shared about an irreversible surgery that was causing them to be sick and they were regretting doing it in the first place. A friend of mine, who recently had two toes amputated started sharing about how she Let Go and Let God. The person dealing with the effects of surgery leaned in attentively and asked “how do you let go and let God?” (priceless)
My friend shared about waking up from her amputation, and just giving it to God. No pity party, no moping, no why me’s, just trusting that God will make all things work. Another friend chimed in with her own let go and let God moment; years ago she had lost an ovary.
There are so many roads that lead to impact our self esteem. Careless words from insensitive parents/family members, our own comparison with others, a scar here, a limp there, harsh self critique, no self love and I could go on…..
What could I have studied for in this moment? Everyone left a little lighter than they came; one less piece of junk to carry around, anxious for the next session. Showing ourselves a little more compassion: being kind to ourselves.
I didn’t have a big story to share to relate to most of the issues, and I didn’t feel as if I had a let go and let God moment. But I do,THIS was my let Go and let God moment. I had to get out of the way.
I am a vessel and a servant of the most High God and even though it is an honor to be used by Him, I have to let Him do it!
Are you in the way of what God wants to do with you?