My name is Yvonne and this is a portion of my story. Before I was born I shared the womb with my sister and although they knew about her I would surprise everyone. As my mom gave birth on the floor of my grandmother’s apartment in Brooklyn, fear gripped everyone when I came 20 minutes after my sister because I was unexpected and not breathing. My first breath would come from the mouth of a police officer who decided to take a different route home that day.
my twin sister and I
It was hard growing up as me because my complexion was so much darker than most and the kids would pick on me calling me horrible names. I felt like something was wrong with me. To hide my pain I became angry and a very good fighter. I fought so much that I got kicked out of elementary school. By the age of eight I had major surgery on both of my feet which caused me to have to learn how to walk all over again. The special shoes and child size walker did not do anything for my self-esteem. The kids were cruel and I felt like an outcast.
I hated everyone and vowed never to let them see me cry. Going to school for me felt like holding my breath and eagerly waiting for the chance to breathe. As a teenager I was very volatile. I had a bad attitude and would always respond to difficulty with abrasive language and violence. I rarely lost a fight but when I did that person had to fight me every day until I was satisfied. I had so much anger inside that my mom was the only person who would deal with me. She was able to calm me down in my many moments of rage. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: anger, crack, God, love, marijuana, overcomer, pain
loving God, loving llife and loving me 😉
I’m an overcomer today. Overcoming obstacles daily. There are many things that I am free from and never thought that I would be walking freely in. Truly who God sets free is free indeed. I am an overcomer of needing people’s love, approval and acceptance. I used to look to people for something that only God could give. There was a deep root inside of me that wanted to be loved and accepted.
I wanted people to give things to me unconditionally. I didn’t realize I had to love myself first. I didn’t like or love myself as I should have. My self esteem was very low. To know what love was, I had to allow God to show me. He showed me how much He loved me and how to love myself through His salvation, His word and very patient people.
My relationship with people struggled because before I could love another, I had to love me. I wanted love but I didn’t know what that looked like. When I went after what I thought it looked like, I repeatedly got hurt, disappointed and often felt rejected. That happened a lot, but each time drew me closer to God.
I am also an overcomer from food addiction. This started early in my childhood. My mother, a single parent, loved me the best way she knew how. She never let me go hungry. I could have food anytime and in any amount. That lead me to be dependent on food and I had an unhealthy relationship with it. I abused it and I didn’t know how to eat. I ate when I was happy, sad, mad, lonely, or bored.
food was my comfort…
Food was my comfort, happiness, and emotional stabilizer. It made everything alright. It was always there when no one else was and I fell in love with it. Food to me was like drugs to the drug addict, alcohol to the alcoholic.
My weight ballooned to almost 300lbs. Many times over the years I was able to lose weight. But it always came back. It was never about losing weight, it was always about dealing with the issues that caused me to seek food for comfort.
But through it all, wanting me to surrender, was a gracious loving God who was ready to deliver me from something I didn’t want to give up. I was challenged to give up the love of my life…FOOD!
My path to overcoming was down the road of SURRENDER. I opened up and got to the root of my addiction. It required making different choices, being honest and transparent, and allowing God to make the changes in me. I had to do it God’s Way.
making better choices…
Long story short, God has taken almost 100lbs off of my physical body. Weights of disappointment, rejection, hurt, anger and unforgiveness. He replaced it with HIM!
Today I am not only an overcomer, I am a victorious overcomer and striving to show others how to do it God’s Way.
Tags: addict, food, God, love, overcomer, self love, surrender