Sunday notes….Nature vs Nurture!

11 Aug
my Pastor and I

my Pastor and I

Something has been happening. The church notes for my most recent posts disappeared when I went to write the post. I was frustrated but I refused to be deterred and I wrote them from memory. I saved them the same way I usually do on the same iPad I am typing on right now and they disappeared. The enemy is trying to silence this and I will not be moved.

Today’s message was liberating and I wanted to share. I saved it at least 10 times 🙂 This post is just a spin off from the introduction. I am someone who thrives on information. I like to be given the information and then have the opportunity to make an informed decision. As a result, I don’t believe in forcing God on anyone, but as long as people have ‘information’ then they will be accountable for their own ‘informed’ choices.

There is much debate and studies in psychology on nature vs nurture; the things that are innate in us vs the things that are learned. My Pastor, yesterday, shed light on this in a way that was very interesting to me. It takes both nature and nurture for us to get to our purpose in God. Some of us didn’t have parents who recognized the ‘purpose’ that God had in mind for us so they didn’t nurture that in us; the leader in us, the writer in us, the pastor in us, the teacher in us etc. As a result some of us struggle as adults with our calling and our design because we weren’t nurtured to see ourselves as good; just the way God made us.

my parents and I

my parents and I

young me :)

young me 🙂

Even now, as I reflect, I see my ‘purpose’ playing out in what I had a proclivity for as a child. I am a Pastor and a Teacher. As a child I always liked school (still do), never wanted to miss it, I loved to learn. I believe good teachers are first good students. I was always a champion for the underdog and despise, to this day, to see someone taken advantage of. I love to help, protect and encourage. I was always the child wanting to bring some stray animal home. Anyway…

To the PARENT…..

Know the child/children you are raising. Seek God for the best strategy for each child. No matter how frustrated, stressed out and angry we get, we cannot say vile things that ‘kill’ the promise in our children. Some of us have very gifted children who are exposed to much more technology than we were ever exposed to. Bringing homework home and we have no idea what the correct answer is. Challenging us to step our own game up to better parent them.

Our children might be getting in trouble because we are not channeling their energy in the direction that fits what’s innate in them. Sometimes we mold them into what works for and is convenient to us. And they confirm, but are they truly happy? Or are they just pleasing us? Sometimes the truth is hard to hear from them.

baby girl :)
baby girl 🙂

My own child had an episode this week where she did something that her dad and I told her not to do; for the third time! She got her punishment, but God said to me that she needs more structure. He told me that I needed to be more structured myself (time and schedule) before I am able to give it to her. I need to do a better job of juggling husband, child, ministry, work, friends and the dog!

To the ADULT….

As adults we can each reflect on our own upbringing and determine whether someone truly nurtured us. Some of us had parents and family members who filled in and helped us be who we are today. Some of us did not have anyone. And we only made it because of the grace of God. I have come across so many people who were abused and neglected, had the most vile things said and done to them from those who were supposed to be trust worthy. Those young and old, who don’t want to live. Who give themselves to anyone, turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the ever present pain, trade dysfunctional relationship for dysfunctional relationship because it is familiar, who are very angry inside, and simply see no other way out.

There is a WAY….

God is our rescuer...and I know that some of us are angry at Him because of what happened to us. But He still is the rescuer. He is the reason we are still here, not dead, not in a mental institution; still alive and sharing our story even if we are still stumbling through it. But God doesn’t just rescue us, just to rescue us….He rescues us so that we can rescue others!!

We have to stop being depressed about our design, circumstance and history, because God is up to something!! Don’t quit before you see what God is up to. Our design might have taken us down some dark roads…but we have to trust the One that made us.

We have to stop blaming others…and take accountability for our own choices. When we make the choice to be accountable, God will hook us up with the people who will lead us (and nurture) us in the direction that He wants us to go. Be ready!!

my ace bud...who pushes me

my ace bud…who pushes me

Depression and low self esteem are two things that are rampant in our society and especially in our young people….who might not feel as if they had a fair start in this game called life. But if I can pass anything on, it’s this, we have to play to WIN with the hand we’re dealt. With God we win every time!

Please pass the encouragement on….it might make the difference in someone’s choice 🙂

Be blessed.


Question – who nurtured the purpose in you?


Posted by on August 11, 2013 in Daily Inspiration


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

8 responses to “Sunday notes….Nature vs Nurture!

  1. beverley

    August 13, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    that was a wonderful message, inspiring and uplifting. It reminds me about having a structure and setting goals not only for me but for my children so that God purpose can be fulfilled in our lives.Often times we forget about God unending love for us and inspite of our pass, of the things we did in our lives he is still there waiting to forgive and mold us into what he want us to be. Thanks for reminding me about how important nurturing is to one life.

  2. JC

    August 13, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Yes…structure is all about balance.

    It is difficult to tell someone that the bad things that happened to them will work out for their good. But we have to find a way to accept God and how he wants to mold us…

    Thanks for stopping through 🙂

    Blessings to you


  3. optimisticgladness

    August 13, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    This is so good! Your comment, “I believe good teachers are first good students” is spot on. God is calling my middle son into the ministry. He struggles with being a good student, because learning is hard for him. He has bilateral hearing aids and he misses a lot. I am going to read your article to him and then discuss school and the ministry. Thank you for this! Hugs.

    • JC

      August 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm

      🙂 Hugs back at you. I love that you have a glimpse of his destiny and you are making the investment! Awesome…
      Blessings to you and your family.

  4. journeyofjoy

    August 14, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    What a beautiful family you have JC! And what a great post. I really like what you said “Know the child/children you are raising. Seek God for the best strategy for each child”. I come from a family of 7 girls. All of us are VERY uniquely different. I try to take into account the same as we raise our 2 daughters. I could tell their differentness almost as soon as they were born. God truly designed us that way, and it helps not to cookie cut our kids, compare them or break their spirits. I’m all about nurturing! It is what the soul responds to most naturally!

    Thank you for a really good one! And may God continue to strengthen and broaden your reach and ministry!


  5. JC

    August 14, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    Thanks Marlene 🙂

    7 girls, wow! I agree that the soul responds to nurturing…maybe that’s why ‘God is love’ hmm
    Blessings to you

  6. Seyi sandra

    August 29, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    This is one of the best posts I’ve read and I mean it! This happened to me today, my eleven year old son almost drove me nuts and I almost said what I shouldn’t but I guess the Holy Spirit helped clear the air, and I nurtured and corrected him as best as I could. My three kids are blossoming under a Christian home and with a loving husband, God has been good. Thanks for this post, I’ll read it with my husband again!
    Much love. 🙂

    • JC

      August 30, 2013 at 12:52 pm

      I am glad it blessed you Seyi…it was a conviction for me as well! Thank God for grace as we sometimes stumble along this road of parenting 🙂

      Blessings to you my sister


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